numbering your days
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the writer
name : Benjamin
age : 17
sch : A.S.S. ,TJC

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Designer: Yukino
Codes: Lisee
Images: Funeral Monster
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u r someone i've trusted
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
someone said this to me, it means a lot.

it breaks barriers , opens up spaces of conversation that we've never dared ventured into.

and it's all part of God's ineffable plan.



I felt very happy yesterday, after coming back from a crazy holiday, i finished my tuition work, i FELT PRODUCTIVE!



pRoDuTiViTY is a wondrous feeeeeeling!





then i did a little research on my tag board, use a lil' SS skills , and after much cross referencing.



Pause for a while , i wanna thank whoever invented the Internet for the wonderful "ctrl+f" button. It made language cross checking so much easier.



I sort of figured out who "unknown" is , the funny person on my tag board...though I'm not too sure, but I'm pretty sure i don't have any other junior contacts(other than KT) , and I'm pretty sure he didn't' give me his email add , so I'm guessing it's......you know what that really doesn't matter, it's over- period! HA HA



OK the trip to tioman was like CrAzY.

It is the funniest trip so far that I've been on, we skipped church on Sunday morning , had a wacky meal at this place called sembawang although it's actually near pierce reservoir(Sg lah very strange)



We crammed all our stuff and rushed to the Airport, then customs was hilarious, my Mom was stopped because she was carrying Lipstick,it was So darn funny, the new regulation is as such: liquids more than 100ml in hand carry language are not allowed.

(liquids?lipstick?i've no idea too!)



Following that was waiting for the damn plane, i HATE PLANES, especially the small ones, the pilot has like an agenda to scare the shit out of me, I'm serious , he was having a very good time rattling the piss out of me , the plane was going up , left , right , spinning , diving , dropping ,and suspending my ass in mid-air, OK fine I'm exaggerating but that was how i felt, every time the damn plane decreased in altitude my ass was always 5 seconds late, so everything was kinda hanging in mid air.



The plane was a forty sitter , and we saw like Singapore getting smaller and smaller , and suddenly we were like in heaven , everything was white fluffy , like in sheep land, it was quite a nice scene if not for the fact that the stupid window was barely larger than my head( my head is not big , i think..)and also because my stomach was doing somersaults.



OW and the landing , the plane like dropped for a while , and i was freaked like hell, and just as i regained composure and relax a little , The stupid pilot decide to dive again , so i was in a permanent state of freaked-outness like permanently.( pardon the error , i think i still am)



When it finally landed, gravity force my ass into the seat, i thought for sure it was stuck, but nah I've gotta a small ass , so it got unstuck easily.When i got off the plane i realise that the ground felt kinda near , and i only figured out why when i realise that most people were standing up and i was like hugging the ground, you have no idea how happy i was to finally stand on solid ground.



Ow lovely wonderful ground!



So we took this funky no seat belt , no doors , no nothing, completely open-air, truck to our hotel, it was fun if not for the fact that the trees kept smacking themselves into my face. When we finally got there we were placed in like really bad rooms(according to my mom) but i thought they were okay, i mean I've this phobia against new places , so just as long as there ain't no blood stains , the toilet looks like a toilet , and you don't find long hair all over the place, I'm OK with the room. Berjaya resort is more of like a chalet , rather hotels.



OK here is the fantastic part , the truck that they transport people around in is like slightly larger than a normal taxi, and the paths that led to our chalets are like strictly made for humans only , but the truck can like squeeze through and plonk itself right in front of our chalet.

Malaysia is kinda like-your game-no rule- ... nice place.

We had dinner on the first night , then we went to walk at the beach , it was so totally beautiful.
(i don't have any pics unfortunately , my dad's not very reliable in that area)
The sand slips pass your toes, the wind just caresses your hair and flings your clothes against the darkening sky, the water calms and is "icylicious", practically a sheen of moving glass , it's peaceful , and you have all the serenity you could have against the setting sun, and the blurring horizon.

Then we got lost ,ha ha , we could not find our way back to the chalet , and my dad was still boasting to my mom about how he had this instinct of finding destinations.
It as SO FUNNY.
So there we were, my mom, dad, sis and I, walking about aimlessly in the dark , with some big creatures flying over our heads , and banana plantations in the back ground , come to think of it this sounds like a scene right out of a horror movie.

Moving on, we were shifted to our proper rooms , they WERE HUGE. and we were just lazing around the whole night, i feel asleep the first , and woke up at about 1 in pitch darkness, and had the whole scare myself to sleep thing, i usually have this on the first night, the rest of my nights(2 to be precise) were OK.

The next day , i sort of fainted in the toilet , my parents suspect me of being anaemic , and yea a whole lot of bullshit , but i got better anyway, had breakfast, and we were off snorkeling. We went to three separate places , coral island , marine park and reggis island.

The sea is like clear up to 5m in depth , and the fishes kept biting my fingers, ha ha it was so cute.On our way to coral island we saw dolphins , YEAH THE ACTUAL FILPPITY , JUMPY , SHINY THINGY DOLPHIN, but snorkeling is annoying when u have to wear a life jacket , so at the marine park , we just went in without them, quite risky no doubt , but swimming in 5 m deep water is like WOW and scary too.

The place is just so beautiful , there are like monitor lizards slothing their way around , and they don't seem to care about you, my dad was so cartoon , he was chasing the lizard around , and the making such a big fool out of himself, HA HA!

The third day , we canoed to reggis island , and my hands don't feel like hands anymore , they are just dangling there, canoeing is very fun , although our canoes were like the new and improved , upgraded , alot easier to use kind....it was a mad fun day in the Sun , and my dad got scolded for jumping off the jetty , my dad did alot of stupid stuff on this trip , HAHA, crazy family!

Lazing around at the beach , there were fishes swimming around my butt and everywhere.
Ok i shall recollect the animals i saw ,
i saw tiger barb like fishes near the beach where the river water met sea,
and i saw monitor lizards , some with yellow spots , some just big and gray,
i saw dolphins, the blue happy kind,
i saw monkeys , hanging around the dustbin outside ,near our chalet,
I saw this poor pig nose turtle stuck in a fish tank,
i saw parrot fish, lots of marine fish i can't identify,
I saw corals, mostly dull , my dad was rather amused by them though,
i saw sea urchins, most were the size of a small rice bowl like 10cm across, but there was like a colony of them that were close to 40cm across , so cute , they kinda look like my hair when it's wet and standing.

I also saw this creature , that is usually white all over , it's often draped in a tight fitting water proof material that makes a good effort to reveal , certain parts, the creature is usually flabby all over , it speaks with a western accent , and you tend to find them like giant red walruses lazing on the beach at the end of the day, i believe they are called ang mohs....ha ha, every single one of them that i saw had a paunch...it's quite disturbing when you see them lumbering around when you are eating lunch...

I visited the beach early in the morning on the third day, it's like time just stands still , the waves repeatedly slap themselves against the shore , and you just tend to think alot , and find alot of answers , then the wind carries bits of pieces of God whispering , it's just really sanctified.

I've not laugh so much with my family in like forever , i just really thank God for this trip, and also for the fact that the plane didn't crash , or my younger brother didn't start screaming the word bomb and get all of us detained....haha

HAHA , life is great , if you just fit all the crazy pieces together.

I awoke this morning, and ran around my neighbourhood screaming : WHAT ON EARTH AM I DOING RUNNING AROUND MY NEIGHBOURHOOD AT 7 IN THE MORNING ON VESAK DAY?

HAPPY VESAK DAY EVERYONE!


Ow Rihina has this new funny song, it's about umbrellas , and she goes like ela ela ela ay ay , haha she needs spelling lessons.

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{ 7:01 PM }




SHIT HAPPENS!
Friday, May 25, 2007
The really screwed part of exams is the exams;
and the screwed part about being screwed is that your holidays get screwed too....

It's my first time hitting an L1R5 of more than 20 , it's 23 to be precise.
I'm not suppose to compare but there are people who can get 9...and stuff....

So obviously I'm just plain stupid.

I was still in a pretty good mood today...but things just soured somehow...I wonder why?
But well , SHIT HAPPENS , the only thing you can do is to smile it away....

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{ 7:41 PM }




The No Asshole Rule by Robert Sutton
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Building a civilised workplace
and
Surviving one that isn't
Ajay and I ran around Orchard road to find Borders yesterday and finally settled for this book.
It was quite funny getting lost in Orchard road , and rather stressful, people there don't walk , they RUSH.
The Book is about surviving the office, it's politics , and branded assholes, which according to the book cover a wide range of people , which include bosses colleagues , clients and sometimes even oneself.
It's helpful with a humorous unconventional twist to the self help-like genre, hope she likes it.
The Literature workshop was not very helpful nor insightful , and after listening to the associate professor speak, i think we should all recommend Mrs Ashari to go do her PHD too...
I saw this on some one's nick, it sounded some what like this :
I don't care what you think of me,
and i won't change so that i will suit you,
because either way you will believe what you want to believe
and Dalilah's : you have no right to make me feel bad
HA HA , sorry Dalilah for copying without your permission, but i find these statements very powerful, try screaming them aloud and saying them at the mirror , especially Dalilah's.
OK back to tuition work..how delightful!

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{ 11:22 PM }




The Giant Book Of Answer Sheets
Friday, May 18, 2007
I really want to know the reason for my existence, why I'm doing what I'm doing...why I'm studying...i really need to understand if all that I'm doing is necessary if i do not intend to stick to conventions when i grow up?

If one does not see making money as the sole purpose in life, then how does all this studying now tie in with our future?
I like money i won't deny...who doesn't?
But i am pretty much satisfied with not living in luxury and comfort, so with ideologies that do not flow with convention and society , is education really that important?

When i say education I'm not just referring to gaining knowledge , as i know people will rebut me with that, by education i mean our Singaporean education system kind of education.

I am proud of our system but at the same time , it has sort of destroyed the "essence" of learning , we aren't being educated :we are being told what to know.

There is a vast difference between learning and just knowing what is supposed to be known?

Where is the discovery in that sense? Where is the learning?

I'm afraid our education system may only be summed up as instructions prior to attaining an occupation...we are just knowing for the sake of passing that test and exam..but in reality these "facts" , these instructions are only capable of being applied when we are faced with a test , with those questions....in real life, we call them "facts" , "academic principals"

We're not learning, not discovering, definitely not getting closer to the infinity of knowledge, I'm afraid our textbooks are just one giant book of disorganised answer sheets...

The Singaporean education system does not test our learning ability , or our intellectual capacity , or any kind of intellectual skill , it's just one huge memory game....with a nicer sounding name.

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{ 7:29 PM }




I'M BACK!
Thursday, May 17, 2007

AND REDDER THAN EVER!

We hit the beaches on Sentosa just yesterday since the 16th was declared a holiday by our principal(or is it principle)...

No doubt the number of people was rather small , but small is nice and good things come in small packages, and although i'm really burnt i did say i thoroughly deserve it , since i enjoyed it just as much.


The exams are over , the stress is temporarily lifted but we're still gearing up for more, and i can see loads of people bucking up, it's great!


But i learnt something very important from someone(the person isn't really significant..haha), and that is that in the exam it doesn't really matter how well you do , but it's just whether you put in your heart and soul , and have a clear conscience(not sure of spelling) to the fact that you did your best, that you don't come out and say : i could have done better next time!


Because at that point in time you did the best to that point's capacity, and that is what truly matters.

Improvement is a to take a small step at a time and not take a single one back!


I realise that the blog is actually rather constrictive , i can't really say stuff here , it's not really my "diary " , not really my thoughts...in a sense....


Happy Birthday to the may babies! God Bless

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{ 5:15 AM }




weird
Monday, May 14, 2007
the posting page is all messed up...might have to change blog...
exams are cruel people
exams are cruel

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{ 12:07 AM }




With
Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Isn't this adorable , i just am mesmerised by this...
but as lovely as this is , as close as they are , as eternal as the photographer made it.
They will part one day , one will expire before the other and then when that happens , what happens to that other...

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{ 7:08 AM }




TO:
hey Unknown, I think i know you are i'm supposed to, and i'm just too stupid to get the clues that have been left behind , sorry if i took it out on you via the blog and sorry about my friends getting all rough against you , but people get stressed and yeap so sorry but please identify yourself!

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{ 7:08 AM }




Painfully
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Blessed are you!

"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.

"You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.

"You're blessed when you're content with just who you are - no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.

"You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink is the best meal you'll ever eat
.
"You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'care-full,' you find yourselves cared for.
"You're blessed when you get your inside world - your mind and heart - put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.

"You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.

"You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.

Matthew 5:3-10 The Message

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{ 5:41 AM }




SHIT
I can't even finish one crappy maths paper.
I don't see how the f*** i'm suppose to get my A1.
Not to mention i know nuts how i'm going to do well for chem.

I don't understand why they bother to have a comb humanities subject esp one with history.
It's 6 chapters of SS on top of 9 chapters of History of which they can bullshit you with all sorts of essay questions.

I'm stressed and pissed , yeah like thats not obvious , so it will be really nice if unknown people just identify themselves, cause it's annoying talking to someone i might not even know.

Thank You!

And if anyone has found a miracle drug that makes people focus PLEASE TELL ME!

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{ 12:36 AM }